Joe Biden is reportedly writing a memoire – “working like Hell on it” he claims – and is being paid $10 million for the book by a unit of Hachette. My question – is it being written by autopen? ChatGPT? Can Biden, who is barely able to finish a coherent sentence without trailing off into mumbles, actually pen something worth reading?
I imagine Biden’s memoire as something like the old Mad Libs, where there are significant blanks left for someone else to fill in. When I was six and on vacation with my family, my brother and I were meant to write a journal (“My Gernald”) chronicling our travels to various European capitals. I could never remember the French towns we had driven through, or which museums we had dutifully visited, so I left all those place names blank, meaning to ask my mother for help later on. Unfortunately, I never got to that next step, so reading the pages is not too illuminating. As in, “Today we got up and went to ____.”
I’m assuming Biden might have the same challenge. Like, “what was the name of that guy who introduced me when I went to Michigan to..wait, what was I doing there?” Or, “Then I signed a bill that allowed (or maybe banned???) LNG exports to ______?”
Lucky he has Dr. Jill standing by. Or maybe Hunter, though I’m not sure Little, Brown will accept an X-rated rant laced with f-bombs.
I wish his memoire would trail back in time, to when he faced down Corn Pop or when the black kids at the pool stroked his hairy legs. I love those stories – like about Joe being raised in a Puerto Rican community and his house burning down. I especially love the one about his uncle being eaten by cannibals – now that’s the stuff of a best seller!
The New York Times says the book “may allow him a chance to reshape the narrative of his presidency and address questions about his mental and physical fitness.” They are so hoping. As the narrative about Biden’s four years in office goes, so goes the reputation of the press, including the New York Times and other outlets that lied and covered for our incapable president.
Biden’s biggest problem is that books are already emerging which draw back the curtain on his dishonest and opaque White House and the frantic efforts made by his inner circle – called the Politburo – to hide him and his decline from the public. Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson’s book “Original Sin” sold nearly 100,000 copies. Does anyone think Americans will race to hear more from the worst president in the history of our country? Is there a secret Joe Biden fan club out there who will support a $10 million fee?
It must make Jill and Joe crazy that the Obamas reportedly raked in $60 million for their memoires – a record for the genre. Let’s hope that at least Joe outsells Hunter’s book “Beautiful Things”, which reportedly earned $2 million for the prodigal son. That tell-all didn’t do well, but apparently its modest sales inspired Hunter to promise a follow-up. We’re still waiting.
But – hey – I may be looking at this all wrong. It may not matter if people are into Biden lore or more revelations about the past four years. Maybe they’re just up for a good yarn and, after all, this will undoubtedly be a work of fiction.
